.Enter.My.Reality.
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Thursday, March 6, 2008
Why do things suddenly not make sense?
Things have been going well..got rid of the people who treated me like shit, the bad influences, gained some better friends, became closer with family, friends, work has gotten good; it's actually been fun, school/grades are okay, halfway done with senior year, etc.
I mean, everything has been fine.
Now I just feel lost.
I blame him.
He's confused me again.
I know he doesn't mean to.
But my God...nothing makes sense with this anymore.
But..I guess I just need to hang tight.
I'm patient, I can keep calm, I can understand.
It's hard, but I think I can do it.
It'd be nice if things weren't so complicated for once though.
>.
Current mood:  confused Current music: The Good Left Undone - Rise Against
Friday, February 8, 2008
...who makes my head spin 'round in circles...
...who makes me wonder...
...who makes me forget about my troubles...
...who makes me laugh...
...who makes me smile...
...who makes me h a p p y.
Current mood:  contemplative Current music: In The Dark by Tiësto feat. Christian Burns
Sunday, December 31, 2006
"Heart full of pain-Head full of stress-Handful of anger held in my chest"
Current mood:  angry Current music: Linkin Park
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
4:17PM
It's been a while...
Life's been interesting. It's been good, yet also interesting.
I've realized that time is precious, that before we know it, we're going to be off in the world, on our own.
I've also realized how stupid this so-called society is, and I cannot wait to get out of here.
Rawr.
RawrRawrRawrRawrRAWR.
Sigh. Now off to making a background or something.
Current mood:  sleepy Current music: The Outsider - A Perfect Circle
Friday, August 11, 2006
You drove away my winter
Covering my soul
The veil that paralysed me
With the sunlight that we stole
You stand by me in times of need
You heal my wounds in my defeat
You make me complete
I 'd rather die
Than live without you
I don't want to see the sun
Without you by my side
When I look into your face
Your eyes seem innocent and pure
And your breath caresses me
In your arms I feel secure
You stand by me in times of need
You heal my wounds in my defeat
You make me complete
Current mood:  good Current music: Gezeiten - L'ame Immortelle
Friday, May 12, 2006
Life is insane.
This year...has gone by so fast..and so much has happened.
I've met so many new people..experienced new things..have weakened a bit, but have gained much more strength in return.
This is scary.
[<3]
Current mood:  scared Current music: Soul On Fire - H.I.M.
Saturday, April 1, 2006
Every time I walk,
To my shadow in the night,
I fear loneliness is here,
And I’m feeling like there is no light.
Falling into the dark,
I don’t know where I should be,
Slowly in my mind,
And I’m feeling like this can’t be right.
All of my life,
All of my life, will I believe
All of my life,
All of my life, will I believe
Open your eyes,
See what you see,
I gotta wake and believe
Open your eyes,
See what you see,
I gotta wake and believe
All of my life,
All of my life,
All of my life,
All of my life, will I believe
I think those are the lyrics.
It's a pretty song.
It's on Bonkers XII-Breeze and Styles CD 4.
Current mood: lost Current music: Fade To Black~Apoptygma Berzerk
Sunday, March 19, 2006
It's been one of the worst weeks in my entire life.
But now, well, I can't stop smiling.
The weekend has made up for everything.
:)
Current mood:  happy Current music: Angel Falling~ Euphoria
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Why do I feel like I don't matter that much to him anymore?
Current mood:  depressed Current music: Love is a Danger Zone 2- BanYa
Friday, December 9, 2005
gah! so bored.
yesterday went okay.
i went home early cuz i wasnt feeling well, so i didnt get to see justin as much as i wouldve liked to.
everyone went to the dance concert. it was insane. im too lazy to go into detail right now.
now im back at school, in media tech, so behind in all my classes. argh.
i found a few songs by euphoria, but they wont play on my computer, so im listening to them here at school. theyre freaking amazing. the one skips though for a minute.
(BTW if u didnt know, im trying to find all songs by euphoria. I have 6ish; 3 on cds, 2 D/Led, 1 on Stepmania...6 down, 12ish more to go.. Sigh.)
ill update more later when i have something to update about.
.heart.filled.promises.
Current mood:  tired Current music: Future is Now-Euphoria
Wednesday, December 7, 2005
Damnit.
My grade went down 2, maybe 3% in media tech for no reason at all.
Frickin teacher marked off points when he didnt need to, so now i have a 95, which really freakin sucks cuz i had a 99% or a 98% before.
I'm pretty fucking pissed right now.
And i have a stuffy nose
And I miss Justin...he's still sick..:( I havent seen him since Saturday....:(
And im stressed...dance concerts today, tomorrow, and friday. sigh.
i just wanna go home and sleep right now.
shit..i have math homework unfinished and a bio lab to work on today, and the write up isnt even complete yet. shit!
I feel way too overly stressed right now.
whatever.
sigh.
Heart_Filled_Promises
Current mood:  pissed off Current music: Makin' me wanna dance-Asa & S1 ft. Lou Lou
Monday, December 5, 2005
This weekend went well.
Friday, i went home sick after first hour. i rested up and then later after school, Justin randomly showed up. He brought me my homework, which i have no clue how to do lol. We hung out pretty much the rest of the day.
Saturday, Everyone went to CnC. I mean EVERYONE. Me, Justin, Dale, Mike, Ben, Jess, Rach, Paul, Paul, Paul (lolz TOO MANY PAULS!), Andy, Andria, Adara, Luda, Brendan, Dustin, and the list goes freaking on! I actually went on rides this time!. homg i went on the skydiver. that thing...shit i almost pissed my pants lmfao. i went on the log ride 4 times and i tried sea dragon. We were gonna go on the desert storm, but they needed 20 people, and there were only 6 or 7. We all stayed there till around 10. Then Justin came back to my house till sometime after midnight. We had jack in the box and watched part of Identity. oomfg i love that movie.
Sunday, I went to the mall with my mom and sis. I saw 2 Stephanies i knew over there. Then after that, we went to some Christmas dinner thingy. After that, we went to my gramma's house, and then to dairy queen.
That was my weekend.
Now its Monday.
I'm sitting here in Media Tech, dreading this week.
-Dance rehearsals Monday and Tuesday.
-Dance concerts Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.
-Media Tech project due at the end of the week.
-Math test needs to be finished up on Friday
-Biology Lab Finals started last Friday and i missed it...ack!
-And Justin's not here again today...@$@$^%$!!1one!11!!
Waa..I wanna sleep..
I'm gonna make a theme now for my myspace or something.
I'll update later.
Heart_Filled_Promises
Current mood:  content Current music: Promises- Dancelords
Thursday, December 1, 2005
grr..im stuck with a stuffy nose and sore throat with a half hour of media tech left with nothing to do cuz im being lazy.
i talked to cierra yesterday. i think we're okay now.
i had rehearsal yesterday and i have actual dress rehearsal today. sigh. our class has no clue what the hell theyre doing. grrrawwwrrr!!@#@$
justin told me he was coming to school today whether he was sick or not. guess what?
hes.not.here...
i hope hes not sick or mad or in trouble or anything cuz
1) last night i told him i didnt wanna get him sick. "i dont care" was his reply. sigh.
2) i saw his house door slam shut last night when we dropped him off...so i dunno if he was mad or something, idk why he'd be mad though, ack too much confusion.
Look at these lyrics...
So when there's no one left to blame,
No one to hear your cry,
I'll still be there for you.
Keep your faith within your soul,
Believe in me and take control,
You will find your way.
~Find your way By Jessica
^some more hhxc^ :D
This song is one of my most favorite. ever. well, the remix anywayz.
When you walk away,
You don't hear me say,
Please, Oh baby,
Don't go.
Simple and clean is the way you're making me feel tonight.
It's hard to let it go
Hold me,
Whatever lies beyond this morning
Is a little late and old.
Regardless of warnings, the future doesn't scare me at all,
Nothing's like before.
~Simple&Clean Planet B remix By Utada Hikaru
Ahh..<333i love this song
kk well ill update later.
.please.oh.baby.don't.go.
Current mood:  sick Current music: Simple & Clean(PlanetB remix)- Utada Hikaru
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Everythings a frickin mess.
Again.
I didnt have to get involved with anyone else' drama to get into this mess this time.
I'm largely involved in all this shit that's going on just because it's me.
Why?
Cuz I suppose I open my damn mouth too much? Possibly. Who knows anymore?
Oh whatever, fuck it all.
Oh, and just an FYI going out to Barry and Cierra:
I'm not putting up with your shit anymore.
You 2 can go talk and say whatever you want and make up stuff too.
I don't give a damn anymore.
Too bad neither of them don't read this.
I guess I'll just have to tell them that face to face.
I'm done for now.
.i.could.care.
------------
less_than_you
Current mood:  bitchy Current music: Power of Love(Scott Brown 98 Rmx)-Q-tex
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
stupid allergies.
stupid people posting porn in myspace comments.
stupid media tech project.
stupid rumors.
stupid stupid stupidness!!!11!one!11!!1
______________________________________________________________
for the allergies, i can either take medicine or go on with them.
ill prolly go on with them
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
for the stupid people posting porn...i can let the kid live or hunt him down and beat the shit outta him.
I'll prolly hunt him down and beat the shit outta him.
---------------------------------------------
for the media project, ill either finish it or blow up the computer program.
even though id LOVE to blow something up, ill prolly just finish the project.
----------------------------------------------------------------
for the rumors....i can talk to the people and then decide what im gonna do, or i can jump to conclusions.
i know jumping to conclusions is bad so ill talk to the people ASAP.
---------------------------------------------------------
and for the stupidness...
well...it can all dieee.
----------------------
O.o
i wanna go home and sleep.
why cant i go home and sleep?
i could fake sick.
wonder how far i could get with that.
hmm...
homg i wanna go to a rave.
listening to all this HxC makes me wanna get up and start raving right now.
if only i knew how to rave...
and if only i knew a way to get to one!
rawrzorz
yes, im making up new words now.
why?
cuz i can.
Goshhhh, I'm so freaking bored right now its not even funny.
Too bad i dont have any DVDs with me today.
okiez im done writing this pointless entry now.
-teh_m15h-
Current mood:  blah Current music: CRACK WHORE-Dougal & Gammar <3
Friday, November 18, 2005
i got me pocky back!!!
and im eating it in media tech!
xD
im hyper and not functioning too well mentally.
OHSHITIHAVEAMATHTESTTODAY
crap.
i didnt really study. shiezen!
gahh off to dance in a little while. the teacher wont be there today. i dont wanna goooo! were gonna have a sub or something. argh.
grr *pokes drama starters and bringers in the eyes*
zzzz im so tired. i wanna sleep. and my tummy hurts. dunno why.
theres not much else to say.
byez
less_than_sixtynine
Current mood:  weird Current music: The Theme- Hixxy & Styles
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
IM IN MEDIA TECH.
AND IM WATCHING LAND OF THE DEAD.
WTF MATE?
mwahahaha!
my dvd! *grabs DVD case and licks it*
*realizes theres an amputated arm on the cover*
*chucks DVD case at your head*
Soo...
yesterday was pretty decent.
I went over to Justins, then we went to blockbuster, got this crazy anime movie, and went back to my house. ahahaha that movie was crazy.
OKAY my movies starting now. BYEZ!
less_than_sixty-nine
Current mood:  excited Current music: movie-Land of the Dead
Monday, November 14, 2005
UGH! i feel like crap today. im stuck at school, my eye still swollen, wearing glasses, dressed in all black, i feel freaking emo!
i got to see justin though, so that made me happy, but im sad that i he saw me when i look and feel my worst. sigh.
I CANT EVER WIN!
i thought i killed my computer. i put in disc 1 of my new chemical brothers cd and it said u have to restart your computer. im like oh shit. cuz then something came up in german and in chinese. i was like WTF MATE. i flipped out.
so i went to look for a pencil in my pencil and found this random pencil and i dont know where the hell it came from cuz i KNOW its not mine. i think cierra might have put it in my purse thursday at CnC or something. meh, who knows.
okay so im gonna go try to find the lyrics for this one song. This chick says something in Under The Influence, but i can only understand "I was under the influence", "I discovered", "Don't run", and then something that sounds like "...get ready, ya'll...." something something yeahhhh im gonna go try to figure that out now.
less_than_sixty-nine
Current mood:  crappy Current music: Under the Influence-The Chemical Brothers
Sunday, November 13, 2005
i cant believe what nerve some of my friends have. ive had 2 of them tell me that they either dont like my bf, or that i can do better. i cant believe some people..
well there isnt too much new. i have this huge freaking sty in my eye and it hurts like a mofo.
im sitting here bored outta my mind watching friday the 13th.
hehe todays the 13th but its a sunday.
yeah.....i think i need sleep or something.
meh
Current mood: blah Current music: movie- friday the 13th
Tuesday, November 8, 2005
yesterday improved somewhat, except for the fact that i have this huge bruise on the inside of the bottom of my foot. i almost fell, ended up stepping on my ps2 remote, then justin ended up stepping on it so we both ended up on the ground lmao. im all bruised up now, between bites and stepping on ps2 remotes :P
yesterday was fun. Justin came over. thats about all that happened yesterday.
now today....oh crap, i have a dance test. shit. i can barely walk right now. im seriously walking with a limp right now. owie. okay well ill write more later.
Current mood: tired Current music: hardcore heaven CD 2 Brisk
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